Shitty Clairvoyance

I imagine I no longer exist in the form of human flesh and blood. I’ve blended into colors and places, into feelings and faces.

My observation leads to so many discoveries. I peel a layer and find another. There is no end to the fascination conceived by my curiosity and, sometimes, paranoia. I can actually see through your soul. Not that I’m some supernatural entity deciphering the complex nature of your shitty being; I just know. You would know, too. Look closer. Gestures and tones give so much away.

Your secret is never yours unless you’ve done everything in the universe to hide it. My dilemma lies in my acute sense of feeling vibes from people. I know what you’re saying even when you’re not. I know what you’re not saying when you are. It’s not a gift, mind you. Nothing is a surprise when you know what’s going to happen. No mystery remains long enough to grapple my interest. Before I ramble on, remember, this isn’t a power, this isn’t an ability.

Knowledge is power, they say. In this case, my knowledge and sixth sense combined is a pain in the ass.

I yearn for child-like incorruption. I want to ask questions, to know more. I want to know that I don’t know. I would do anything to have the firmly-established belief gone that claims people are predictable, that the world is evil, that you die alone. I long for beautiful simplicity found in the most mundane of things. My god, sometimes I even wish I was nine and died right after my tenth birthday.

I’d blow away the candles and wish for a tree house. Engraved in italic, my epitaph would whisper, “An innocent, sugary-sweet death.”

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46 thoughts on “Shitty Clairvoyance

  1. Uglywitch

    Wow! I am blocked and perhaps, deleted, too. You could’ve given the chance, you know, to wish you fuckin’ good life. Nice post, anyway. Bye.

    Reply
    1. shotgunfacelift

      It’s ‘Wow. I’ve been blocked, and perhaps deleted too.’ One comma too many there my good man. I don’t know who you are, but good luck and god speed. I’m sure you’ll adjust to life without having wished Mehreen a fuckin’ good life, lawl.

      From the tonality of your comment it doesn’t seem like what you’d really like to say anyways, so just tell her to die in a fire like you want to and get on with it. (y)

      P.S. I’m curious. What did you do? lawl.

      Reply
      1. Uglywitch

        Hi. The imperativeness to place an additional comma before and after ‘deleted’ came from the usage of the parenthetical element in the sentence and the addition of a pause to create emphasis, respectively. While you were running riot and grammar-nazying my comment, I noticed you believed it was your duty to attempt to pry into others’ affairs and correct them; however, fiercely pitied the deficiency of your knowledge as you forgot to place an exclamation mark after ‘Wow’ for I indicated strong wonderment and failed to introduce a comma after the introductory element in the fourth line of your comment. Your habit of butting in and putting down others renders you sinfully vulnerable. I won’t tell her to die or anything. What the f*ck is ‘lawl’? Guess what, you are the reason why wars are fought to keep unidentified and wide-eyed yet smart-alecky nazis like you off this Earth. Thank you very much. Maham has to do the dishes, now. Bye.

    2. Chafing the Chaff

      I shouldn’t do this.
      But, can’t resist, hahahahaha. No man, let ME wish you a good life. Having grown up and being one of the biggest morons in the world, i’d like to tell you that i have never seen one like you. Sleep on it, wish you start feeling DA LOVE out there pretty soon.

      Reply
  2. Ally

    “My god, sometimes I even wish I was nine and died right after my tenth birthday.” I can relate myself to it so well! :) On the other note, I’ve learned a lot about boys and their shitty thoughts, and it has made me paranoid.

    Reply
  3. owais

    Isn’t that supposed to be a good ability …. People take courses to learn this… or tum ko dekho. :P

    I mean if I had this ability, imagine what I would have done.

    Reply
  4. Ian

    Most people are the sum of their mistakes. It’s not really a reason to despair, though, people aren’t what makes the world be what it is. Even though they try.

    Reply
  5. embers

    This is such an amazing post. You are one gifted writer. It’s just beautiful.

    “I yearn for child-like incorruption. I want to ask questions, to know more. I want to know that I don’t know.”

    Reply
  6. Alina

    It’s interesting. We’re at an age, that we can’t ask questions like we use to. Now, we ought to know the answers, or be able to find out our own answers.

    Reply
  7. Em

    “Your secret is never yours unless you’ve done everything in the universe to hide it.”— couldn’t agree more, lady Kasana =)

    Wait, the end was depressing :/ -.-

    I wonder what my gestures say about me? ;)

    Reply
  8. shotgunfacelift

    Uglywitch :
    Hi. The imperativeness to place an additional comma before and after ‘deleted’ came from the usage of the parenthetical element in the sentence and the addition of a pause to create emphasis, respectively. While you were running riot and grammar-nazying my comment, I noticed you believed it was your duty to attempt to pry into others’ affairs and correct them; however, fiercely pitied the deficiency of your knowledge as you forgot to place an exclamation mark after ‘Wow’ for I indicated strong wonderment and failed to introduce a comma after the introductory element in the fourth line of your comment. Your habit of butting in and putting down others renders you sinfully vulnerable. I won’t tell her to die or anything. What the f*ck is ‘lawl’? Guess what, you are the reason why wars are fought to keep unidentified and wide-eyed yet smart-alecky nazis like you off this Earth. Thank you very much. Maham has to do the dishes, now. Bye.

    Needlessly verbose. Pseudo-intellectualism at it’s finest. Do your dishes, maybe you’ll be better at that than writing.

    Reply
    1. Uglywitch

      Hahahahhahaha, no dude, that is so not an impressive response to my comment. The victorious fatal blow for blow has blown you away. Goodbye. :D
      Mehreen, you study hard. Don’t waste your time.

      Reply
      1. shotgunfacelift

        Not really. I didn’t even read half of that. Many of the words were used in an absolutely incorrect context and looked like they had been pulled straight out of a thesaurus and whacked into an incoherent block of textual garbage.

        You can’t referee and judge your own games by the way. What you just said is akin to entering a boxing ring, getting your face punched in, walking over to the judges table post-match and raising the ’10′ sign.

    1. Mehreen Kasana Post author

      I wouldn’t mind killing you, honestly. You and your pseudonyms. And equally shitty remarks.

      PS: I gave two finals today. Got one more on the 3rd.

      Reply
      1. Imperceptibly Impressed

        I just have issues with violence and profanity. I count shitty as profanity. I think such words limit the real rage and the associated asthetics. Killing me, ROFL, nobody even dares to be mean to me, killing aside.

        ps: Still good luck.

  9. Mehreen Kasana Post author

    Chafing the Chaff :

    Having grown up amidst* i meant.
    Hope my confession of my inability to type spares me of getting chambered by the Grammar Nazi.

    The Grammar Nazi is a cute guy. He’s a fag online though.

    Reply
  10. Uglywitch

    At Shotgunfacelift, stop being pollyanna. You just appear to point out errors without being specifically clear-cut about them with the sole hope to prove yourself as superior and it’s just like a fat blubber guts who very likely has rough animal-like physical relation with men, who make him their little b*tch, and slap his gut and shout ‘little piggy’, while he still says ‘I rule’. Hahhaha, I’ve no hard feelings, take care.

    Reply
  11. shotgunfacelift

    Imperceptibly Impressed :
    I just have issues with violence and profanity. I count shitty as profanity. I think such words limit the real rage and the associated asthetics. Killing me, ROFL, nobody even dares to be mean to me, killing aside.
    ps: Still good luck.

    What? Go fuck yourself knobhead. That’s profanity.

    You don’t have a say in what someone else writes on their blog or how they express their own personal emotions. Stop imposing your opinions on others. It is very emo though, I’ll give you that.

    Reply
    1. Imperceptibly Impressed

      Nah man. This is a place to comment. Otherwise i won’t be here. I refuse to apologize for opining.
      But forgive me i am old school. And i’d like to see the chick to write old school. And she doesn’t mind me saying this hence i do have a say here.
      And i didn’t call you Grammar Nazi, for the record.

      Reply

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