Flirting is an art. It is also one way to receive lashings, both of the religious and from-that-beautiful-girl kind. I, your loyal blogger, am back with sincere halal advice for my Muslim readers on how to score a Muslim chick. Non-Muslim friends and followers, please make sure your Muslim friends try this the next time they see that gorgeous chick around the block.
It may work. IT MAY WORK.
SSS: Show Some Swag
Yeah. Show some halal swag. Go up to a Muslim chick and do this. She’ll love you in this world and hereafter.
CHECK OUT MY OUTDATED HIJRI CALENDAR. SO MUCH SWAG.
AHIH: Assure Her It’s Halal
By marrying her. I don’t know. Just do it.
The Fajr Trick:
It works. It always works.
And they woke up every Fajr happily ever after.
Put a Ring On It:
Marry her already.
GET KINKY:
IT’S GETTING JAHANUMMI IN HERE. TAKE OFF ALL YOUR SINS.
I’ll stop trolling.
Pro-tip: While studying Surah Baqarah in the Quran, I read that the prescribed manner in which a Muslim man should ask for a woman’s hand in marriage is simple. This time I am genuinely not trolling. Do the following and try not leering. It’s not nice or halal.
SCORE.
I actually knew someone who got proposed by:
“Kia aap mere saath aglay saal Hajj karne chaleyngee?”
True story.
Adding that to this list. HE SCORED A GIRL. :tear:
They actually DID end up getting married! :P
Ohp!
that’s so cute :)
omg that is so sweet…I’d still want to hear that even though I read it here. lol.
hehehe..funny
loved it.
BTW its Surah BaQarah and not BaKara. Rest was great! Loved the fajr thing
Fixed. Sorry about that; kind of forgot the script/pronunciation issue. Glad you liked it. Stay well.
This is lovely :)
Hahahahahaaaaa. Excellentious!
Something “Maniac Muslim” would write.
On the money.
You want to join me for post-Isha tilaawat?
I’m game.
Ahahaha your doodles. <3
Hahaha! This is the best Muslim pick up lines I have ever read so far. Mashallah your doodles look great. Good stuff I must say.
Cheers from Gaza.
My favorite : “Can you tell your Ammi to call my Ammi ;) ” lol!
Does this really happen :O ????
lolx
Would you join me on the roof for Eid-ul-Fitr moon spotting?
That fajr thing is hilarious. This is brilliant humour. :D Really enjoyed it.
What happened to “I shot this drone for you”?
Another favourite Muslim pickup line, “Hi wanna do it? We are married, you know….”
:-)
IT AIN’T A PICK UP LINE IF THEY IS MARRIED.
Love it Mehreen! Keep it coming <3
Too good!
CUTE! <3
A friend of mine was proposed to after HE gave an a lecture on an Islamic topic. Would that be “Your so hot when you orate, marry me!” ? … I think i managed to make Orate sound dirty…
You really brighten up my day. BRILLIANT.
Brilliant work!
I’m still more awesome.
No, you ain’t. Qurl.
An arguably sane friend once used this: Is your daddy a terrorist? Because you sure are…etc. etc.
A sign of the times, I suppose.
The doodles are great!
That there is a religious prescription on how to propose – amazing!
Hahahah! Brilliant! Well done! Awesome doodles as always and I have to say, the whole concept of marriage-pick-up lines always cracks me up, though I think in some circles, ACTUAL use may not be encouraged :-P – but love the one Mahwash mentioned above!
Good to see new doodles and blog post! Shall get to previous post soon hopefully!
Funny stuff
i wud definitely try to practice sum ov ur suggestnz if i were a guy! bt i definitely enjoyd em alot;) keep up!
LOL ….let me add one
“Koe tumhein dekhy mujy acha nahi lagta PARO”
(After gifting her HIJAB )!!!
This is exactly my life story. Also one of three daughters and no sons *gasp*….I too have heard these callous remarks often especially when visiting Pakistan and meeting long lost relatives.
P.S. love your doodles & I’m so glad you’re updating again!
“IT’S GETTING JAHANUMMI IN HERE. TAKE OFF ALL YOUR SINS.”
That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all week. XD I love it! You’ve got so much wit and ideas, hahahah!
After you introduced me to the ‘surah baqarah prescribed proposal procedure’, quite frankly, I was sceptical because of the inherent indirectness of the method (“one” would be..[as oppose to, i would be]).
Regardless, I gave it a try and the subject of my hearts ires reciprocated with a cold: “then why doesn’t “one”, whoever this someone is, ask!???!”
Anti-climatical rejection.
Perhaps its suppose to yield a favourable response when delivered after a fresh ablution? :P
here after ages, and what a great post to come back to. the fajr one is my favorite.
also i imagine that these days moms of boys get that response (from me, anyways!) no daughters?! just sons, subhanAllah, three of them?!
Have a happy Married life
Amazing (pathetically) it appears shayton is winning this battle but the true believers Insha’ala will stand firm in the mist of this foolishness and follow the righteous sunnah of our beloved Prophet (saw) I happened upon this malady of the heart site by accident…if only that were the case for the owner of this site. If you don’t fear Allah do what you like. May Allah Guide you.Ameen.
Humor isn’t looked down upon in Islam. If you’re going to hijack everything and make it turn into a morose sight like many have, you may get off my turf and do the preaching elsewhere. It’s between me and Him. Not you and the world. Ameen and out you go.
Saif Ul Suck at humor
Hahahaha, WIN :D
Love the doodles!
i love you.
..”it appears shayton is winning this battle…”
what battle? 0.o
and MK you did it again. *autograph please…*… hilarious wit.
hahah! u cracked me badly!:D amaazzingg!
Funny! Your doodles are amazing and you tell the story real well, no matter what it is. The religous persepctive is really funnnnnnnny! :D
The quick black wolf jumped over the lazy pet