The Shaadi Complex

“Shaadi hui abhi tak?”
“Nahi.”
“Leh. Mangni shangni?”
“Nahi.”
“Koi rishtay shishtay?”
“…”
“Haye, meray Khudaya…”

Such is the conversation I often endure and barely manage to get through at tea parties, weddings and dinners. The tongue-clucking, heavily-accented inquiries and sympathetic glances while milk cream is poured into golden-rimmed tea cups leave me nauseous, if not half-suicidal, half-homicidal. My crime? I’m 21 years old and unmarried in Pakistan.

When I was a mono-browed seventh grader in the Convent, almost every classmate had mentally organized an extravagant wedding for herself. Red roses were to be thrown over guests with plastic smiles, delicacies had to be stuffed into the mouth of a gruffly-looking groom and everyone vowed not to cry at the time of rukhsati. You should seriously check their faces as soon as the baraati car arrives. It’s something like this:



We advanced (if not intellectually) to tenth grade and several girls were rumored to have been engaged to mysterious men from extended families or to clean-shaved, CK-drenched sons of pompous tycoons. Soon after the rings were exchanged, their gait became proud, their bosoms swelled with confidence (and over-padded bras), adolescent moustaches were threaded to reveal hairless upper lips and classroom discussions shifted from grades and canteen snacks to clothes and men. Socially awkward brooders like me would sit in the back of the classroom and preoccupy the mind with “diabolical” writers and artists such as Saadat Hassan Manto and Saadequain. In simple words, I was a ringless bookworm with sideburns.

Fast forward to high school and I was less of a hirsute, more of a plucked hen. But I was single. Of course I had my crushes and infatuations but I never thought of engagement. Neither did my parents: they thought, “Mehreen? Engagement? Right now? Naaaaaw.” This has to be one of the very few notions Team Kasana and Team Kasana’s Parents agree upon. More girls were engaged and some even got married at the age of 17. By the time I graduated from high school, half of my class had entered the realms of commitment with husbands in the valaiyat or, in English, abroad (the allurement level of a rishta is doubled or tripled if the guy’s settled in USA, UK or Canada). The other half of my class was left admiring those “lucky bitches.” As for me, well, I just thought I was lucky to remain safe from the clutches of spouse-related expectations and a domesticated life I, at that age, could not handle. I mean, you’d be crazy to think I’d pop a baby at 17.


I fell in love and had my blood-pumpin’ buddy broken. But I still didn’t perform the engagement ritual. When I turned 20, the influx of proposals gained acceleration and my mother began hinting at potential partners. She conjured up images of a lovely reception, educated in-laws and an HSY dress women would kill for. I did not give in. Of course, in order to keep stalkers and bullies away, I would say I’m engaged. Everything is fair in love and war. This being a war of keeping mentally-challenged, foul-mouthed twerps out of my base. (Innuendos galore).

However the pressure of getting engaged increased. My class-mates have babies and I’m still the laconic, library-loving, complex virgin. At a reunion recently, one of my peers, aged 21 with a son, slid in a subtle hint at my single status.

Her Highness: Bhai, mai to kehti houn kay shaadi jaldi honi chahiye.

Kasana: Mhm.

Her Highness: Meray miyaan jee ne itna khush rakha hai mujhay. Itna baraaaa ghar hai humara. Mashallah Mashallah.

Kasana: Sahe.

Her Highness: Yeh jo single shingle rehti hain na, yeh barri kharab hoti hain.

Kasana: Pata nahi lekin aap ke pyaray shehzaday nay tatti kardi hai.

Her Pwnedness: …

The kid’s poop saved his mother from a genuine bashing via my words. My arguments are refuted with traditional reasoning. In the modern-day subcontinent, senile concepts related to marriage continue to thrive. If you are 21 or 22 and still single, you are fresh meat in the market. But if you decline marriage proposals, you’re a rebel in the making. Vultures and hawks at family gatherings will keep an eye on you. If you’re 23 to 25 and single, you are upgraded to mafia level. Suitors might be a little scared of you since you have maintained an air of superiority and independence (two factors Pakistani suitors usually dislike). But God help you if you’re 25 to 30 and still unmarried. You are most probably regarded as a demi-goddess by your similar-but-nubile kind. Aunties don’t dare question your single status or the absence of a ring on your finger. Hell, you might even have your own cult following.

It’s just a tad bothersome for me, at least, since I have always been reluctant to answer personal questions. Interrogative statements concerning my single status are often devoid of empathy or basic understanding or even respect for privacy. Maybe I’m a little too young for marriage? Maybe I need time to settle down? Maybe I’ll just get engaged when I’m 22? Maybe I have my own set of priorities and goals to achieve before I tie the knot? Maybe I’d like to become someone successful or just accomplished before I say I do. Christ, maybe I’ll just get engaged to shut the running mouths of these aunties. Maybe.

But I know one thing for sure: When I get married and I’m pouring tea for a young single lady, perhaps 21 years old, I won’t needle her brain with a question like, “Ay bibi, teri shaadi kiun nahi hui abhi tak?” or “When am I receiving a shaadi card from you, heh heh?” I’ll just pour tea in her cup and ask if she’d like a lump of sugar or two.

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95 thoughts on “The Shaadi Complex

  1. Amazing blog Mehreen! It depicts the whole ordeal of marriage in Pakistan so well. I love reading all your blogs!!

    1. I can pick the funny part but I don’t see anything sad. I mean, my grammar’s sad, I guess. But that wouldn’t bring my spirits down. I think it’s annoying, that’s all.

  2. Excellently written.

    Had to gain lingual assistance from a Hindi colleague. She’s been laughing at your doodles. Great post, Kasana!

  3. hilarious!! can’t believe people can bug someone so young so much. youre 21. stick to your studies and have fun. dont marry so soon. ;)

  4. So aherpa derpin’ here.. Would you like to marry this suitor dude from hell? I have a fake Rolls Royce ahan ahan. I roll like a nigga. Haters gonna hate.

  5. What about men? What do they do when the crabs scuttle up and ask them their autobiographies? What Preity Zinta to pine at their sight, a Cinderella to Shabnam, Maryam and Zainab, the opulent cattle that throng our fair Lahore?
    Kasana enters chai party. Hilarity ensues.

    1. Hahaha. Loved your comment. I feel sorry for men too. They’re pestered by these aunties as well. I guess it’s the old lot against the youth. Revolt, I say. Revolt.

  6. loved this post mehreen and your little cartoon-illustrations. i hope i’m that woman too, who only asks about sugar ;)

    i was 24 when i ‘finally’ got married!

    1. Haha, thank you for dropping by, Mona. Glad you liked the post and illustrations. I’m sure you’re not the prying sort. And I think 24 is a fine age to get married at.

  7. You had me at ‘virile country like Pakistan’. Goodshabash!
    Why is the groom in the doodle sad ? Is it because you’ve made him wear brown on his wedding day?

  8. I don’t really know what to say. I’ve personally seen these aunties in action and I know what kind of a pain the behind they can be. Personally I feel that its a case of “I suffered after marriage, now I’ll make you do the same. Mwaaahahahaahahaha”
    Best to avoid these people as much as possible.

    PS.

    An SMS I received once might help in this case. It went

    “At weddings all these grandmotherly types would say “You’re next”.
    They stopped once I started doing the same at funerals”

    Good luck

  9. I loved it.
    There’s absolutely no rush into getting married, as peers or family may want you too.
    And just because you fall in love, doesn’t mean you have to get engaged or nikah’d right then and there. Takes time.

  10. You have a flair for writing Mehreen. Recently discovered your blog and am having a blast going through your older posts.

  11. ittle, you are too amazing all the time. and i’m glad you think like a lot of us other girls do, shadi is something you CAN’T rush in to, because you owe yourself to live a little before you are responsible for someone else’s happiness as well as your own.
    kachichi =)

  12. I liked the post. As much as I love the fact that this post realistically outlined pretty much the typical desi marriage ordeal, I can’t help but think of those progressive Pakistanis where intellect is creeping in and educatio is taking their role. While this post presets a true picture of majority of the Pakistanis, I believe that it’s all changing now, and that a more positive and intelligent approach is beginning to be seen where girls marry who they want, when they want and how they want.

    Good post, nevertheless Kasana. Thought I’d let firangi (foreign) readers know that Pakistan is not all that bad. NOT saying you’re presenting it in a bad manner, since I know aap kitni mohebban-e-Pakistan hain :D <3 But yeah..to those who hgaven't read your blog much or who are not aware of the Pakistani culture, this comment hopefully enlightens ya'll.

  13. ladai jhagre hoi? Leh. koi in-law problems? Phadde shade? Acha studies complete ki ? Koi job shob ka plan? Acha bas house-wife?
    After this deluge of questions, you show affect a shocked, aghast expression, hoping to irk them for long-enough before they wake-up and realize that your expression really isn’t representative of the norms of Pakistani society
    Not that I am an expert on these matters but I feel that a catty response is needed, in the same sing-song, rhyming, passive-aggressive way that these questions are posed – to appear less intrusive and offensive then they are
    Thankfully, men don’t have to face the same hassling women do. It is not a stigma being old when a man. If anything, it is taken as a sign of maturity and responsibility. Most arranged-rishtas I know of have a big age-gap. It’s a characteristic of most patriarchal societies that men – being the providers – are given leeway to ‘establish’ themselves. Their prize is a much younger and prettier bride, who has been goaded, by convention, in to it.

  14. Haha, I have six years on you compounded with the exact same experiences. How much more I can take before I crumble and marry the next idiot they put in front of me, I cannot say! :P

  15. You’re a genius.. . Kasana! =) but to that: Christ, maybe I’ll just get engaged to shut the running mouths of these aunties. Maybe” I won’t believe (:

  16. You got that right, sista! Man, that’s the story of my life. I’m the 25-30 bracket :(

    One interesting thing I’ve noticed is that you’re not considered an adult until you’re married. Like whenever I get invitations to a dawat or shaadi, it’s always through the parents. Even though, they know my number and everything. Once you’re married, NOW you can invitations addressed directly to you. Otherwise, no. Peeves me to know that a 17 yr old is considered more of an adult than as a 25 yr old, simply because she’s shaadi shuda.

    Marriage for the sake of it. Not because you love him or want companionship.

  17. Its funny that you wrote this cause I wrote something some time back (check it out at http://nowihavesaidit.blogspot.com/2010/04/observations-from-other-side.html )

    I think any patronizing comments about marriage are lame. Everyone has their own life, and the “best” time to get married … Knowing myself and everyone around me I always thought it wouldnt happen for me until my late twenties or early thirties.. But I met Irfan and this happened. I have had some really low times with him but I am married and life is good. My point; I agree that noone should have to be made to feel bad because they choose to not get married at a certain age but at the same time, I dont think everyone who gets married, pops a kid, and devotes their entire lives to their in-laws, especially from the SEC we belong to.. More and more women are juggling high profile careers along with marriages and families …

    So chin-up and move on. Study, work, travel, flirt and enjoy life until you feel you wanna bring a boy into it… let the haters do what they do; hate …

  18. This was a funny read, but I know you’re serious about most of it. that’s how things are to a degree, yes, but unfortunately i think the kind of generalizations others make about women who choose to take time to marry are about the same as your generalizations about the girls in your class who did choose to marry early. i don’t think that you’re in the position to make the rash conclusion that just because a group of girls married early on, that they weren’t interested in studying. you make yourself out to be the nerdy more educated bookworm, while those who toyed with the idea of marriage are all dumped in the single category of immature teenyboppers

    im also not sure why us women like to make such judgments about the choices of other women. do what makes you happy, and let others live the same way :) after all, isn’t that what you just said you want?

    it’s possible to ‘do’ something with your life while considering marriage. why do we view marriage as ‘the end’ of life? its like some full stop, self imposed death sentence…

    i havent been to pakistan for 4 years, but i know that a lot of the people i went to school with briefly are now engaged, or in the process of it, and many are continuing their education or furthering their career. i think in the bigger cities, this type of progressive thinking is becoming more commonplace. i think the fact that people are beginning to realize that the two things are totally compatible is healthy, and long overdue.

    1. I’m glad you commented, SN. But you took me a little wrong while reading the post: I never once did imply that the ones who were to get married early were ‘immature’ or ‘dumb.’ In the course of labelling myself a nerd and a bookworm, I may have carelessly forgotten to mention that some of those young girls who got married did carry on their plans of education and careers. Good for them. No generalizing here, no worries.

      I only stated that the viewpoint of the majority of aunties who think that girls who take their time before they finally settle down are of ‘dubious’ character. And that often ruins my mood.

      And no, I did not say marriage is the end of everything. I do regard it as a sacred institution but I’ll take a little time before I tie the knot, like I said. I could even be 22 when I get engaged and married. You never know. All I’m saying is that some aunties need to calm down with their inquisitiveness and let girls have a breather. :)

    2. haan sally, i’ll also have to disagree with you here. i’m pretty sure when i think about the shadi complex, i think of aunties and girls my age who look down upon me for NOT being married and choosing to not tie the knot with the first fob that walks through my door. you have to understand that criticism works both ways. it may even be jealousy; jealousy that flani is single, jealous that flani is married. i agree that women are too critical of each others’ choices, but i mean come on. it’s the 21st century. it’d be nice to not get the up and down stare because they caught a glimpse of my un-ringed finger, thus leading to pre-conceived thoughts in their head that i may be some sort of closet promiscuous party girl, which is why no guy actually wants to marry me.

  19. Amazing Post..this is the voice of my heart..words that i wanted to utter for so long..Gosh, now i can finally send a link of this post to all those fair skinned,good for nothing aunties who are after me so they can finally zip it..:)..I love reading your blog Mehreen..

  20. LMAO! Funny narration Mehreen.

    Acha sun larki :P Shaadi nahin hui teri abhi tak?? Hehe kidding! Enjoyit hun, don’t just jump into it when you’re not ready. Trust me on that one. And why am I sounding like an aunt here? Well, ’cause I got married early too. Believe me I could have done myself much better by not doing this.

    So, let ’em talk! :P

    “Tee-hee!!” :D

  21. I only need a bit of time before I wear a ring. I’m sure you’re living a content life even with being married off young. There’s no sin in that. I’m just a little ticked off by the pestering aunties. An prevalent epidemic in Pakistan.

  22. ZH and mehreen,
    I just turned 23 and I’ve ‘been’ with someone for almost 2 years now. We’re not getting married for probably another year, and I’ll msot likely be 24 then. That said, my point is I’ve seen marriage pressure too. Maybe it’s not as bad in the US because you can isolate yourself a bit better, but if you’re part of the desi community, it’s there. On my last visit to Pakistan that’s all people talk about, heck I even had some meetings or whatever set up.

    But the point I was making was not about aunties treating girls like crap because that’s such a deeply ingrained part of our culture that it would be stupid to deny it. I think it’s obviously wrong/annoying, and a valid complaint but again I took issue with the kinds of thing that had been implied about girls who did choose to marry early. The way you chose to depict how the girls in your classes were so obsessed with marriage and how you alone stood out because you were more interested in a book seems to give the impression that you were the better kind of different than them, you know? Because maybe you wanted to ‘do’ something with your life before marriage, as you said above

    But you said that’s not how you chose to portray it, so I guess I can’t say anything more. We can agree to disagree respectfully. Again I did not intend to defend aunties with exceedingly rude manners, my issue was more with the other side. Because I do see a distinction amongst women from South Asian cultures. There is a division or a trend of ‘hating’ on those who aren’t like you. Those who choose marriage early hate on those who delay, just as those who delay hate on the others. And it’s not always clear cut hatred, like oh, look at her, she married early, what a waste of brains! although that def happens to a great degree, people can be oh so brutal, but its often implications that kill us. implying that those who didnt marry early are probably defected in some way, or those who did are worthless bc the importance of education is lost on them. It’s a vicious cycle.

  23. I always found it strange how some girls refuse to see beyond marriage for their future. I remember girls in school actually planning out their wedding dresses and choosing what beauty parlors they would go to–16 year olds who thought marriage was just about a beautiful wedding and shopping all day long without parental restrictions…A lot of them did get engaged later on with the same mindset, that marriage would not involve responsibilities. It’s weird that our culture pressurizes girls (and boys) into getting married early but hardly prepares them for it.

  24. HAHA. Thanks Mehreen. This is great. As you know, I am 32 (shock! gasp!) and I am still single (aunties faint at that one). My virtue has been questionable for centuries it seems. And as you know I love auntie bashing, you just made me feel so much better.

    I never felt “ready” enough to tie the knot with anyone. Maybe I never will. By now, the “pressure” has turned to desperation as far as aunties, family etc are concerned. It’s quite embarrassing. Especially since I don’t feel desperate at all.

    I completely disagree with the meat market (oh you know, the rishta business) and with arranged marriages. It insults my intelligence and my free will. I’m not saying that these meat market girls and boys do not exercise their free will. I just feel that I couldn’t do it. So I’m still running around in this world, free of marriage. I’ve travelled and been reasonably educated and I have experienced a whole lot (not that all was great) and in all this time, I still don’t see the need for getting married.

    Aunties have decided that I am a lesser being and that I have missed the bus, the train – hell, even the plane. Therefore, they just pity me or ask me desperate questions (when they’re not being catty). Weird, isn’t it? When I have to do it, I will. They don’t trust me, obviously. I mean, I’m 32 (gasp!).

    PS I love your cartoons.

  25. I always found it strange how some aunties refuse to see beyond marriage for a girl’s future. It rubs off on us sometimes. I remember girls in school actually planning out their wedding dresses and choosing what beauty parlors they would go to–16 year olds who thought marriage was just about a beautiful wedding and shopping all day long without parental restrictions…A lot of them did get engaged later on with the same mindset, that marriage would not involve responsibilities. It’s weird that our culture pressurizes girls (and boys) into getting married early but hardly prepares them for it.

  26. I’m absolutely relishing the fact that I am part (if not the sole representative)of a select class of hunky, sexy poonds on here.

    Eligible laydiss, one at a time pliss.

  27. Miss Mehreen!
    I came acrosss ur article and i must say that it has been one of “the” most entertaining ones ive ever read! the sattire and mood of it is comical ye so realistic and depicts the right picture of the “SHAAADII KAA BHOOOT” prevalent in the south asian diaspora!
    Cheers

  28. i think it happens to male(Pakistani’s) also, i am 25 and people keep on asking, still unmarried? when are you getting married, or engaged, why so late man? and i am like “is ko meri shadi say kya lena dena”

    anyway enjoyed reading the post, try publishing on tribune, i guess people will enjoy reading it.

    if somehow i’ve to summarize your post i will say below lines

    i love your new header especially Minar-e-Pakistan oh no its Eiffel tower – hehee ;-)

  29. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

    I’m SO glad I’m over ‘this’ part. -__-

    Death to all these annoying aunties, their daughters who got married at the age of 18 and gave birth to pristine sons and still managed to look like HSY models and their husbands who never ran out of money or places to take them, thank you for giving me the worst 3 years of my life.

  30. Popping babies at 21? :O Womigawd!
    I thought our culture was bad, pestering 24 year olds to get married.
    I just about know 3 or 4 from my batch who are popping babies at the moment.
    And I feel so bad for them. Like they’re living in an entirely different planet dealing with problem I cannot even fathom and bow you tell me *half* your batch is doing just that!
    Let’s just say I’m apalled!
    Life suddenly seems so un-complicated no? (is that even a word)

    Anywaaay, you little lady, continue to bury yourself in all the books you can find, ok?
    These sadist aunties have nothing better to do!

  31. Loving the doodlles!!

    But youre only 21!! thats waaay too young to even think abt such stuff… Asking about getting shaadiofied in Pakistan is like asking about the weather… the stupid aunties are just bored and have nothing else to talk abt.. though it is much worse when the married and babied friends your own age also think its appropriate to ask you to quickly “join the club” as if the membership passes are bloody running out …. oh well such is life …. just ignore, keep calm and carry on :)

  32. Lolll :P the blog was a good laugh :p and yes it was so right too. I mean it im 19 and my relatives are fretting over it. Seriously, whats the issue of getting married around 23-25? I dont find it wrong and when Allah SWT wills , He will do it. Seriously why cant the aunties give it a rest?
    But desi aunties , it ell you, are a nasty nasty things to deal with -_- its a wonder the desi men survive em.

  33. totally agreed…Pakistani society is a pressure cooker for youngsters….and mehreen if u say “Maybe I have my own set of priorities and goals to achieve before I tie the knot?or Maybe I’d like to become someone successful or just accomplished before I say I do”..its just like asking a 55yr old traditional pakistani aunty to perform a “salsa” move..these aunties, wot ll u suppose they teach their own sons… THE ONLY GOAL/PRIORITIES set for women r “popping babies”……ths is d only goal for women in our society..these aunties they r producers of men who think women r only good for BABY PRODUCTION……that is d goal set for these aunties as well and this is wot they want for their “Bahoozz”….
    if u wanna achieve something then go for it..set ur priorities coz after u got tied then nobody ll take slight interest in WOT U WANT FOR URSELF..then u dont exist anymore…this leads to a flood of frustration….
    and B-leve me its so very TRUE…
    dont lose ur self EVER…..

    PS Xcellent cartoons

  34. totally lovable article! just when i finished laughing insanely in my college lab at the tatti wala joke (:P), the article finished in a befitting manner! RESPECT lady! I am your ‘cult follower’ from now on ;) :P

  35. Mehreen you simply rock! I read your dubatta wala thingi and now this! You seriously are good and think like I do but the way you put words to the thoughts is simple amazingly fabulous! Good work!

  36. and and i got engaged 5 days before i turned 22 this year :D hehe… Um thanx God i never met any aunties! but then…my mom was with auntie thoughts all along…marriage marriage marriage…my engagement is arranged though i completely believe girls and boys should given freedom to choose which i guess i would give to my children…but the good thing isI just love my fiance :D Good luck to you :)

  37. Just read this.

    A bit late to be contributing my thoughts but. You know I heart you, Mehreen. : ) *smoochies*

    I fell in love at 21, got engaged at 23, got married at 25, had a kid at 26. The dream of having that perfect life with the person I love and having kids took me five years. And that’s how it ought to be. Things you love should come after working hard for them.

    The whole Pakistani-matrimonial system is a vicious vicious bitch and people like you who believe in marriage yet aren’t ready to give in to the vile aunties – should hang in there. You give people hope that it’s possible to be sane and believe in the institution of marriage – and yet not jump on the bandwagon at the age of 19.

    A friend of mine who got married at 19 said to me once, as I was in the final months of finishing my BA, that she hadn’t seen the world, she hadn’t even figured out who she was and there it was …. her life planned out and the same things over and over again. Without knowing if it could’ve been different.

    I guess it’s about choices. I know people who’ve been in the same situation as she has and are totally and perfectly happy with it. The idea is that one shouldn’t have to be coerced into following the Paki-shadi system and at the same time not give up hope on love and marriage altogether.

    You’re doing fine and you’ll get married when you’ll get married.

    Ramble over. xo, xo. :)

  38. Excellent!

    I am So with you in this one. My very OWN liberal mother thinks a girl should be married off, the year she ends her studies! :s DUH!

  39. I was a silent reader of your blog but this time i can’t stop myself .everything is so true and very well written mehreen. :D girl MashALLAH you are a phenomenal writer. love the way you’ve written all the posts.

  40. HAHAHAHA that was hilarious mehreen!!!!!and so true too…im at mafia level so i hav to endure this on regular basis too.
    But dont let that get to you….no matter what they say 21 IS the age to be single and ready to mingle…you go ahead and have fun,study,travel,fall in love another time,and do what you want to do,you will get married when the time comes :)
    and keep posting.i love ur blog

  41. Just so you know, I belong to the demi-goddess group…And they still effing leave me alone…my only point is, why should I get married for the sake of getting married ;) eh?

    I loved the article ;)

    Keep up the good work!

  42. Just read your blog for the first time. I am a guy therefore i didnt know young girls are asked these type of questions. But i think all the aunties should mind there own business. The main reason for my comment was to tell that your writing style is much like shoba de. Keep doing good work.

  43. Actually, getting hitched doesn’t shut up these vultures either.
    The questions just continue, simply changing form to: ‘When am I hearing the good news/seeing that gigantic belly of yours?’ *oh-so-subtle-wink-wink*

    And God forbid your first happens to be a girl. Then its simply a deluge of: ‘Aik aur kar lo. Acha hota hai. Matlab ‘set’ complete hona chaiye na.’

    If you end up with two daughters: they simply shake their heads and whisper behind your back, shooting you regular pitiful looks. The gutsy ones will advise you to go see Babu Jee Bangali Octupus wali Sarkar.

  44. You need better friends Mehreen.

    I was 33 when I got married. And no one took away my passport. You can be Pakistani, and a female and still survive. One good thing, by that time the family worries more IF you will ever marry rather than Who the Guy/Woman is, hee hee.

    1. My friends haven’t bugged me about this – not much, at least.

      I do know that a female can survive being Pakistani. However I think you’re an exception since an average Pakistani girl ties the knot at 23-24. Whatever I write is (harmless) satire. No generalizing here.

      You’re right about the last bit though: Us waqt tak khaandaan khawar ho jata hai.

      1. no no i meant smug woman. And my own “smug” comment was that you can get through your twenties and the aunties and avoid getting lynched. Kinda a been there, survived it.

        Keep on ‘ satirizing’ the life and times of MK. I need a good read!!

  45. “I’m 21 years old and unmarried in a virile country like Pakistan.”

    shoot em – 21? is that the age to get married? really?

    i m 28 and i m lookin but there is no one – kisi se bhi kar loon?

  46. Love it! I found an excellent way of shutting up aunties a few years back btw. Works like a charm. Now they leave me alone. Whenever they asked “shaadi kab karo gee,” I started replying with “aaj kaal koi achee larki hee nahin miltee…”

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  48. 21 is waay too young to be getting married and 17? Gee whiz, who actually gets married that young?

    Try being 26 and unmarried, muhahaha! Fortunately I thrive on being away from the shaadi sub culture that rages in Pakistan; I will return to it sure, after I’m done with the Master’s but…*shrug*. Whoever said getting married young is the way to go…well, not in agreement. I suppose in one way when you’re young, you’re impressionable. By the time you’re mature enough and independent enough to know what you want and aren’t willing to compromise, the matchmakers come in. :D I’m not kidding, which is the really sad part. And lo and behold, if you’re an antisocial writer! The cats are howling.

    I wouldn’t say I was howling with laughter while reading this, but I did laugh out loud at several places. :)

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