Part II

In the light of what has been discussed after I posted my open letter to Maya Khan which was later on published on Express Tribune’s blog, I’ve decided to clear several things out for the first and last time before someone misunderstands me for supporting sex trafficking and prostitution in family parks.

I don’t.

I don’t support occupying family spots for these acts. I don’t encourage anyone to strip naked on a wooden bench while kids play on the seesaw. I really don’t endorse the idea of soliciting people for paid sex in such vicinities. I’m not here, as several argued, to incinerate the very fabric of ‘Islamic’ social and moral conduct. Some people accused me of being in favor of letting young males and females engage in “questionable” acts due to which they get hurt sexually, physically and emotionally. One even told me to “leave the country” and “go back to USA” where “this shit happens on a daily basis.”  Implying that this “shit” is perfectly contained and controlled in the land of pure Pakistani perfection. Delusional people are most entertaining.

Some people also alleged that I am trying to be “hip” and “in” by conforming to the modern idea of PDA, socializing and modern relationships. They tell me that I am oblivious of what happens to young people when they are not told to avoid sneaking out, lying to guardians or parents, etc. They inform me that what Maya Khan and her kind did, was simply “interview” young couples in parks. Conflating “interviewing” with “harassing” is a dangerous misunderstanding. I could “interview” you too. It won’t be pleasant.

So here’s what I’ve proposed to all those who misconstrue me needlessly on two major fronts among others:

  • Concerned about indecency in public places? Use the right medium to educate

    Closet Maya Khans sit comfortably in their privilege as they preach those under them. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Her act was not just a moral policing one, but also a classist lashing against those with less a chance to meet in the places she goes to. We all know what happens in opulent, endowed settings. There is no difference between the “illegal” act happening in a poor man’s household and that taking place in a rich man’s mansion. It is very easy to attack and admonish the weaker party. You can use religion, morality or simple concern as an excuse. I don’t deny the reality that unsettling things do occur in parks and the idea to address those happenings is valid. But there are ways to go about these problems. Creating social and religious stigma around them is the least preferable thing to do. Someone with a little decent knowledge of ethics – media and otherwise – would know. Stigmatizing public places not only deviates the majority from the real issue but also limits accessibility to them. You are not helping by locking the venue up.

  • “Girls get hurt when they don’t tell their parents about their lives!” 

    They actually do, you’re right. However please help me wrap my head around the approach consisting of publicly naming and shaming a young person in order to make them aware of their actions. How does shoving a camera into a young girl’s face rectify her dishonesty? If we all are so worried about our young women, why hasn’t any one of us ever considered talking to them in their classrooms, in their school halls, in their colleges? Why hasn’t anyone of us bothered writing about it? Some of you seem so horrified behind your screens about the looming danger waiting to claw at our girls yet you offer no pragmatic solution to solve this problem. If Maya Khan and her troupe wanted to help girls from getting harmed, why didn’t she turn the camera off, implored the girl to listen and offered her well-intended advice in privacy? A group of panting men and women holding cameras after a young couple doesn’t change anything. You were not assigned by the government, constitution or God to ram “naseehat” down someone’s throat. Worried about young girls’ safety? Guide them without shaming them. Disgusted by indecency tainting the family park? Report to authorities firmly and promptly. Public vigilantism is not the right way to go about it.

It may sound tangential but many of you want to help women from getting hurt. That’s wonderful. I realize that many of our parents and well wishers do not have access to internet or open media sources to learn more in terms of going about discussing sexual safety, rights, etc. This is where you become useful and spread the word without becoming a moral preacher like the woman aforementioned. Tell young women how to fight against sexual harassment, educate young girls about sex because it is one of their primary rights, empower them through education, conduct classes, seminars and conferences open for everyone and talk about it in Urdu, Punjabi, Pashto, English, whatever.

Get to it or

97 thoughts on “Part II

      1. The first part was not in good taste. You projected yourself as someone who wants to challenge what the sharia says in regards to mingling of sexes.

        I have now read your second part and find a couple of flaws.
        1. You are attacking the rich and influential to defend the poor. This is not right. What is wrong for the poor is also wrong for the rich, but that cannot be used as a defense.
        2. I agree that the method followed by Maya Khan was wrong. But you have also approached the criticism in the wrong way. To guide the teenagers we need to have a forum where people can interact on one-to-one basis. Knowledge is the best source of ridding our culture of the evils.

        Will you offer this forum for that purpose?

    1. Poor me? Not at all. I’m amused. Sometimes when the comment thread gets flooded, I don’t bother reading until I spot something new, sensible. I’m just glad I got to use that GIF finally. (Thanks for commenting, Zainub!)

  1. Absolutely loved both your original article and this reply. Just have one concern: I just wish you addressed the issue of “larki ki izzat sab se keemti hoti hai” and “larkiyon ko aese bahar nahi phirna chahiyey hai kyun ke zamana kharab hai//log kya kahain gey” issue. Isn’t this where slut-shaming and gender discrimination stem from? Girls can go out with guys just as much as guys can go out with girls and there are a hundred more things girls need to be concerned about than simply their “izzat”. Also, it is a girl’s RIGHT to be protected from rape, and a guy’s RESPONSIBILITY to make sure they don’t invade girls’ privacy. The wikihow page that you link kind of upsets me. I hope people understand that this issue is not simply about correcting the society, it goes much deeper than that and shows just how ugly our society is. You are awesome for writing this out and may you always stay this strong!

    1. Completely agreed, Sonia. I’ve spoken and wrote about this before and will continue to. This post is only a quick explanation and final verdict from my behalf on whatever happened. The issues stemming out from it are still relevant and equally dangerous. I won’t stop talking about them, promise.

      I hope people don’t take it that way either. It’s only a fight-back guide on such a scenario if it, God forbid, ever happens. We’ll have to go further and eradicate the rape mentality from the social mindset. For now, as per this episode, girls should be told how to fight back. Maya didn’t discuss that while slut shaming the youths. That ought to stop.

      Thanks for coming by and commenting. It’s always appreciated.

    2. Hats off to Kasana, for once again, in a very polite yet persistent manner explaining the ACTUAL problem, and dealing with psuedo-concerned “delusional”(quoted from article) people.
      secondly, whatever i was about to say, sonia here just summed it all up :)

  2. Kudos to you. People just need a reason to condemn someone for speaking his/her mind. Ignore what they say because no matter what you say they will still find a reason to point fingers. You Rock!

  3. Stay strong, girl! :)
    btw i still havnt figured out why was she asking the girls for their names *puzzled* @ ap ka naam kiya hai, naam btayain…
    we were told that names are mostly irrelevant in questionnaires/surveys…
    unless she literally wanted to name and shame them…

  4. While I think you didn’t need to explain your stance which to me was crystal clear to begin with. Some people just Sonia pointed out think moral begin and end with how women dress and behave in society.

    But in this post your raised some very pertinent issues and I hope people get serious about wanting to protect women from sexual harassment, rape and domestic violence. They should start by first educating themselves and others around them on the issues and raising awareness about the venues that exist to address these issues. Moral policing will not protect their kids (most ppl they harassed were adults incidentally) it will only put them in harms way.

  5. hehe..and here is my doodle for you :D

    er its pretty lame actually…but in my defence, its wayy past my bedtime ;)

    PS: All Kasana fans, its DOODLE time!!!! make one and dedicate it to kasana! come on! lets show our support to our gutsy girl,the blogosphere way! :D
    3…..2….1..

    1. Oh my. You’re seriously so sweet, gosh. I really don’t deserve “fan doodles”; I’m just an ordinary blogger. This made my day! I love how my hair is curly (detail means a lot). Is that a green bow tie in my locks? Thank you, you fab girl. Brought a smile to my face. :)

  6. I really like the way u comeup with such thoughts n emotions which is true to human nature not tat pathatic acts by Maya khan. Wt i believe is tat anything could change toward right attitude of our society is Education of female bcz some day the r going to b a Mother n only a Good Mother can bring real good change in society.
    Most importent thing ur letter let me n others think n differenciate wt is right n wrong.
    Keep writting, God Bless U.

  7. Wow, can’t believe people thought you were supporting indecent acts. Agreed, if elders or anyone else wants to advise someone they feel is in danger or just wants to offer help, it is the manner in which it is done (again, I defer to the hadith I paraphrased on the original post) that will show the true intention of the one giving the advise. Clearly, Maya Khan’s intention was to make the couples she chased after to feel less upright or less dignified than she and her cronies were. There are real problems within desi families, both in Pakistan and abroad, and then need real solutions that need real effort, personal contact, not TV shenanigans!

    Like you say, if she was sincere in her feelings about wanting to maybe warn the girls specifically (again, as I’ve witnessed personally) or the couples in general in how to bring understanding between them and their parents, doing it in confidence, in private, would have been a much more respectful and worthy act on her part. I say this to remind myself as well.

    Keep doing what you are doing dear – I agree that Pakistan’s future will only be improved with youth like yourself that uphold principles of decency, along with those of Islam in their proper manner.

    Love and respect,
    Anees

    1. People can be dishonest when they want to win an argument and present extremes as the alternative to their own way of thinking. That’s what happened with regards to Mehreen’s original letter and that’s why she had to write this part II. People just love being intellectually dishonest to get their point across. Mehreen thwarted that beautifully. Am in awe of her writing style and ability to cut through the crap. Keep it up Mehreen!

  8. You said it all “Concerned about indecency in public places? Use the right medium to educate ” It is all about the nielsen’s ratings. Admired your posts and thoughts, you go girl !
    P.S. I don’t how to doodle, keep doing what you are doing

  9. Mehreen – This is the best piece you have written in years of great writing.

    مبارک

    I’d have added: Girls and boys ‘sometimes’ get hurt when they don’t tell their parents about their lives!

    The fact is that many parents don’t know (and some, of course, prefer not to know!) about where the world is now, what their children’s thoughts are, where the world has moved away from their own childhood, how to put forward a series of their ideas by discussing them with their children and laying good arguments so that children will understand the parents views, too, and probably follow them. It’s a lot better than asking girls to ‘never step out of our house again’, or just beating the boys or girls, or being cruel because they’ve been discovered at having done something wrong.

    Apart from the kids knowledge that we all feel is badly, if ever, taught at educational institutions, there’s also a lot more parental knowledge that needs to be addressed (though I am sure Maya can’t do that by walking into some homes). Maybe a TV show about this could help …

  10. I came across your blog yesterday and I absolutely loved it. I think you should have a Facebook page that people can “like” if you don’t already have one or you should add a Subscribe button to your profile so your fans can stay updated by your posts. Just a suggestion :) Keep up the good work and stay strong!

  11. Although i don’t like to see unmarried couples moving here or there but honestly what Maya Khan did was equally bad. Well done for nice blogs. Its first time i come to read your blogs and i am really impressed. Well done again.

  12. I read your letter at the tribune paper. You see the problem with both of you women, Mehreen and Maya is, neither of you condone immodesty or immorality, atleast according to what you believe, however both of you are tring to promote or defend your own understanding of what is ethical/moral/modest.

    Maya relies on ambush journalism to expose what she (or her producer) saw as evil. For me, it was a way to increase their show’s ratings expounding on the viewer’s sense of shame and to their emotional reactions/stimuli when they tune in out of curiousity, whilst switiching between channels randomly, and go like “haw haye” , “tawba tawba, ae dekho ji,Tawba…”

    Then you (and other liberals) react to that ‘moral policing’, defending your right to romance in public, as if saying “we’re going to do whatever the hell we want, besides there’s nothing wrong with going out with a guy you’re not married with, we’re just getting to know each other, whats wrong with that!”. Or commonly labelling people who perform ‘Amr bil Ma’aroof and Nahi anail Munkar (The duty to command the right and forbid the wrong) as Talibanized molvies who pose a threat to civil liberties and freedom, etc.

    See, both of you coming up with your own perceptions of morality and making them public. Although i never deny that the basic understanding of good and evil is inherent in our nature, but that sense, that pure fitrah we were born in becomes corrupted by the constant bombardment of theories, idealogies, and ‘-isms’ through the media, advertising, magazines, journals, etc.

    So no one accepts being immodest, but for some, nothing wrong with dating and holding hands with a stranger, but for some, thats wrong lekin parading around with short sleeves, tight clothes, etc is completely ok. So all of the arguments with all of its complicated angrezi basically boils down to ‘I’m right you’re wrong, do it my way, no! do it my way’.

    So either you choose a standard, a model, an idealogy with a firm background that appeals to every human being’s internal self, stick to it, submit to it, or you keep arguing, never finding peace, or the exact balance that exists between individualism and socialism.

    1. Wow. I have actually been reading many of the responses to this article and I must say that is one response that has really communicated one thing I was failing to express.

      Well said. Thank you Zarrar.

    2. Of course everybody is entitled to their understanding of what is moral or immoral; the problem begins when you feel entitled to beating your understanding into people who have other views – just because you think that tradition (=what some people started doing a long time ago and everybody forgot why, but they keep it up anyway, “cause it’s always been like that”) or God (which is most frequently your own interpretation of His words) give you any right to do this.

      As a Christian (Roman catholic), our religion and society also had to “cope” with similar ideas some time ago. One might say that we “lost”, because people nowadays do whatever they want and don’t listen to the Pope, to the priests etc. But, see, the fact is that if religion and the morality it conveys is important to someone, they are free to choose to live by it. And if not – they are free not to. God is important to me, but I don’t always do what the Bible or the priests think is right or decent. I’m a sinner, like everyone else. But I’m oh so grateful that these matters are left just between God and me and no-one – not my parents, not my relatives, not my friends or some people who claim to be “journalists” – is harassing me physically or mentally for my own choices. And that’s how I like it to be, and that’s how – as I understand – is how more and more people in Pakistan would like it to be.

  13. @Zarar Ghori: How about a person just lives his life and lets other live their lives in peace as long as, and this is important, how anyone lives their life does not harm anyone else? Can we agree on that?

    Loved your original post. Have some reservations with this one but it’s still good. Cheers.

  14. You know the sad part is.. people will forget it in like a day or two… because these “aunties” who prowl and hunt dates and watch her show religiously won’t ever read this (and thousand other retorts like these) and it will be in vain..and even if they read it, they’re so brainwashed by these morning shows, I doubt this trend of dissing her would bring them back to see the light… but a brilliant piece written nonetheless..Like I said earlier, if I ever met you in a park, I am sure to hug you for ACTUALLY giving out a solution rather than pointing out the “flaws” in our society..which as Zarrar pointed out above me is “our very own creation” .. we’ve chosen for ourselves what we believe is right.. Sad indeed…

    i3

  15. the problem with moral policing is that it degenerates into extremism itself..

    on March 11, 2002, Saudi moral police (Mutaween) prevented schoolgirls from leaving a blazing building because they were not wearing correct Islamic dress; headscarves & abayas, and were not accompanied by their male guardians!!
    according to witnesseses the police stopped men who tried to help the girls and warned “it is a sinful to approach them”.

    Fifteen girls died and 50 were injured as a result :(
    source: BBC
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/1874471.stm

  16. Dear All…

    I just read the letter by Mehreen and comments followed… well i just wana make a single point. You gotta accept what is wrong (wrong in the perspective of our religion) and not merely the society. There are millions of facts (example like dowry) that go around our society which we follow and majority of us never point them out when they happen n are religiously wrong. If u’re doing something that is religiously wrong, it would be classified as a “personal act” provided that pertains only to yourself n doesn’t harm anyone else. If someone dates around then its non-other person’s business to interfere n in fact if u don’t like it, you just remove yourself from that place.

    Its a clear point made by Mehreen and righteously so that its very easy to catch easy birds. Very truly said, why dont ya ask for nikah namas from those hanging around in Rang Rovers and Civics n big cars n sitting with arms around each other in cafes with sheesha n stuff on?? why these such places are not banned when we know they provide an opportunity for all to meet people outside their families. Are they religiously serving the purpose?? so we should not analyse anything for the other person in the perspective of religion since our society is not following the true principles of Islam and keep dis fact as a “personal matter” for one. And if we come back in terms of society’s rituals then tell me Why do we find a person penalized for not wearing a helmet riding a bike n not those who drive big cars like crazies in streets around….?

    Besides all this… there are millions of other problems we are facing these days and those really hurts big time…. why don’t we try to highlight them instead of wasting time over people who are no harm to the society. And for god sake guys, accept that we are hypocrites. We allow ourselves to do all wrong deeds (secretly) for ourselves and find other person a victim if he/she commits the same.

    Before I end up… I dont know whether Mehreen would ever read dis but surely i would commend all what she has said and agree with her every word…!!

    Regards,
    Saad Khan

  17. I cant agree more. I wish this piece would give some wisdom to Maya Khan, but I am 100% sure all she is getting is more fame, quite similar to Aamir Liaquat. Anything that I find them good at is “Selling themselves!”

  18. What is this? Explanation? Not what I expected.
    Do you think people who did not understand Part I will feel any different?

  19. I stumbled upon your blog today while investigating a topic about bloggers in Iran, and I must say I absolutely love it here! Your posts are brilliant, witty and educating, but also the comments of your readers are sometimes little masterpieces. I absolutely share your views on women’s rights and empowerment (in my country, Poland, the situation is probably better in many respects, but still there is a lot to do to make it a “woman-friendly environment”), but I am also really excited about getting to know more about Islam and islamic point of view on various matters. It’s not always that one has a chance to get to learn about this from “real people”, and not pieces on TV or newspapers produced by who-knows-whom. Great job and keep it up!

    PS. Someone mentioned a Facebook page – that is a great idea. I saw you had one, but are you thinking of developing it?

  20. Totally agree (had the same reaction after watching that).
    Sometimes such people like Maya start thinking they are above humans and are judge of what is right or wrong; and then think have the right to humiliate anyone anywhere at any platform. They are the ones who have made mockery of journalism and made populace doubtful about their own beliefs/rights.
    Both articles were very nicely done and Thank You Kasana for trying to wake people (Pakistanis) from their slumber and telling them that they have self respect and something called “human rights”. We can enlighten the dark corners in the correct way. Alas, if we all could think positively and care for others …..

  21. jaanu kuton k bhonkne sai darna nhi hai! khoob likh tha aap ne, aur sahi likha tha. lahore shehr mai yeh munaafiq zuroorat sai zyada bhar gaye hain. inn ka kuch karte hain. stay strong, kiddo, our kingdom cometh.

  22. lekin khuda ki kasam yaar, the problem is systemic, rooted so deep banda pareshaan ho jaata hai kare kia? aison sai kahe kia?… khoon kholta hai… maana islami jamhooria pakistan bun gayi, buhat buhat mubaarik ho, lekin kia iss ka yeh matlab hai k humare bache muhabbat karna chor dain, khelna bandd kar dain? trust me, its only the sickest of us who cannot abide the laughter of children… wabaa pheli hui hai bhenchode

  23. If she is so much bothered about it then first thing she needs to do is invade her own channel and community to which she belongs, because I personally believe this culture is being promoted by media itself, and on one else is major contributor to this culture.
    Its height of hypocrisy that at one side each and every drama, ad is saying out loud girl friend, boy friend…date…date…date…affair….and at the other end the same media is finding it objectionable.

    So Miss or Ms or Mrs Maya, go and raid them. Charity beings at home. Correct the media first and lot of these issues will get addressed automatically.

  24. Meanwhile I am still trying to locate my nikahnama buried some where in my briefcase need to keep it with me all the time…never know when maya brigade strikes!!!

  25. I’m filled with self-loathing. Mehreen, how is what you’ve done to me any different than what I did to those poor couples- Complete Sabotage!

  26. Hats off to you bravo Mehreen, – at least someone is in town to play truth or dare, or maybe just dare, because nobody knows how to tell the truth or write about the truth anymore. Keep it up we are with you!

  27. Your open letter was well
    Written and a need of the hour. In a society with no checks and balances the common man has to stand up and be heard. When the Maya khan story hit the screen I tweeted many a times against her un ethical and horrific journalism.
    It’s good to have a healthy debate which shows we are a living nation.
    Many may have voiced there anger at ur letter but bear in mind there are many many more like who believe in what you said and your views. Good work again !

  28. I remember when the dram of internet Cafe scandal was exposed in twin cities how embarrassing it was for those who were involved, many of them committed suicide. There is just one question which came into my mind after watching Maya Khan’s you tube video that who will be responsible if a girl whom she interviewed commits suicide due to society pressure or even killed by her family member for the sake of honor.

  29. first off ,your blogs are great .

    Feel that topic has been twisted a lot. (perhaps its the impact of seeing politicians on talk shows that twisting becomes so easy for us)……you made it very clear by this 2nd blog ,but the matter was simply Journalism ethic or media ethics ,it has nothing to do with Maya being righteous or not ..Waqar Zaka named anchor did the same on ARY ,rather debating how Wanna be Married (lol) couples interact in public places or paid sex (/??) ,we should be focused to raise voice for MEDIA ETHICS in Pakistan.Btw blog is superb.I appreciate your contribution through blogs and seriously this time TUSSI CHA GAI HO

  30. i am absotely in love with the way you write. oh wait is maya khan on here too? are you sure she will be able to allow this social media intercourse?

    i think people should be able to decide for themselves if PDF is unislamic or not. if that’s the case i think we should have to rethink whether certain passages are not read by younger youths for it’s vivid sexual imagery (ie. Surah Rahman) that will intice the youths; particularly in this era since humans are become more educated and have access to the sources as opposed to just listening to a mullah or politician for what is right or wrong and their spin on the subject matter.

    as for me, next time in lahore i will make out like no one’s watching with my “gora” nonmuslim boyfriend.

    here is a video that I think is so to the point.
    first tiem reading your blog Mehreen, keep up the awesome writing (as you are exceptionally tallented at it)

  31. I see that three posts that were being moderated have been deleted. Is this the level of your honesty? You are living in a glass house and throwing stones at others. But are unable to defend yourself when faced with sound argument.

    1. I see that you lack critical thinking and the ability to think beyond the inherent misogyny and shame/honour culture that you are so entrenched in Akhtar. Don’t throw around accusations of dishonesty at people like Mehreen when the person you appear to be defending (Maya Khan) lied on camera with regards to whether individuals were being recorded and shamelessly broadcast it too!

      1. I am replying to you, but do not know whether Mehreen will have the honesty and sincerity to approve it as is.

        I do not see the purpose and meaning of your first sentence. You seem to know more about my level of critical thinking and ability to think than I do, even though you don’t know me from Adam (alaihe salam). Hence I believe that sentence should be ignored due to its childishness.

        My statement was absolutely clear as far as Mehreen was concerned. She could not accept my response to her and to the two other people as she could not respond to them, and did not want them on her blog, for obvious reasons.

        The appearance is a figment of your imagination. I did not defend Maya Khan, and when I saw the video after posting my comments, I thought it was very silly of her to do what she did.

        My fourth post has been approved and appears right on top. See my intentions from that post and then write your thoughts. Don’t shoot from the hip.

      2. Those two other ‘persons’ were you, son. Let’s not lie here. Approval is done by WordPress, at least on my domain, so a technical glitch occurred. I’ve had worse, illogical ‘arguments’ posted by people and I still approved them. Yours were hilariously ridiculous, is all I can say. Take your version of religion off my turf and shove it down someone else’s throat or up yours. Choke on the ticket to heaven; don’t worry since you’ll get one. I didn’t bother reading the rest of your ‘honest point’ since it didn’t made no sense whatsoever and, also, attacking someone’s stance without a logical, contextual argument and using ad hominem bullshit is what idiots do. You being one of them.

        Keep commenting. I won’t be reading.

      3. Your response shows your childish, insolent and illogical attitude. Your excuse about glitch is a blatant lie. Why would it happen to three posts that I wrote against your line of thinking? What does moderation mean, and who does this on this blog? Don’t expect me to believe that Word Press does the moderating, because they don’t.

        Don’t give me the crap that it is my version of religion. Tell me where I am wrong, or accept what I write.

        Once you go public with your thoughts, everybody has a right to respond. If you take away that right, you show weakness as you are unable to respond to the comments. If you will allow my posts you will be doing a favor to those who may want to learn something about Islam. I am a student, but will try and impart whatever I know.

        You did not approve my post, and are calling it names, I will post it again separately as I have a copy. If you read it, you can benefit. If you don’t, you will be the loser.

      4. I’m not accepting bullshit. Why would I? I’m not ‘taking your right away’ on talking. You’re free to express your thoughts. Just don’t expect the people on this blog and otherwise to accept your flow of thought. I’m not benefiting or losing or anything. I’m laughing out loud here. Keep at it, son.

  32. This was my first post in response to Mehreen’s first Part:

    If we are Muslims, we have to accept the rules as they are. Enlightened moderation is a farce.

    Mingling of the sexes is not allowed in Islam. Period. There is a principle n sharia known as Sadd al Dharai which means “blocking the means”. In this context, mingling is prohibited because it can lead to zina.

    You have written in your open letter that you just hold the boy’s hand. Do you know what that means? When you look at him, do you know what that means? You are committing zina with your hand, and zina with the eyes. They are not the actual zina, but they are sins no doubt, which will be accounted for on the Day of Judgement.

    I have not seen the video yet, and, Insha Allah, will be seeing it later. She has probably approached the issue in the wrong way, and will be accountable for what she has done. But, in writing the open letter, you have exposed yourself, and have encouraged other people to follow suit. Do you know what that means for you? Every unmarried couple that mingles due to your writing that letter and whatever they do, the sin for that act will be added to your account. Imagine what you will be carrying with you on Day of Judgement.

    May Allah (subhanaho wa ta’ala) keep us and our future generations on the Right Path. Ameen.

  33. Fahd has posted a comment above which reads:

    “I remember when the dram of internet Cafe scandal was exposed in twin cities how embarrassing it was for those who were involved, many of them committed suicide. There is just one question which came into my mind after watching Maya Khan’s you tube video that who will be responsible if a girl whom she interviewed commits suicide due to society pressure or even killed by her family member for the sake of honor.”

    My deleted response read:

    “The girl made a decision against Islam when she went with a boy who was not a mahram. If she commits suicide, she makes another decision against Islam as taking ones life (or any life for that matter) is haram.”

  34. Sohail wrote:

    “I know MAJORITY (Maulvism) is not going to support you but if we will not talk about it things will be worst.”

    My deleted response read:

    “It is very easy to shrug your shoulders and make such statements, but we are dealing with Islam and its shariah. Derogatory name calling is childish.
    Mingling of the sexes is haram. Period. Now let us talk.”

    I am open to discussion.

  35. We will see who is giving the bullshit. I told you what the religion you were (unfortunately) born in says.

    Your problem is that your father never gave you a spanking for being insolent, and your mother didn’t teach you manners. Both of them failed to tell you anything about Islam. Or, were you the rebel?

    You did when you deleted my three posts in the guise of moderating. Don’t be too confident as you do not know how Allah works. If you do not know how Umar ibn Al-Khattab became a Muslim, do a google, or come back and ask me. I will be obliged to tell you. Even if one person on this blog accepts what I am writing, he/she will be saved, and I will get my reward for it. They are not my thoughts by the way, what I will write here is from the Qur’an and Sunnah.

    Ignorance makes a person oblivious of the consequences. Laugh as much as you can, cause you do not know what the future holds for you.

    Does it boost your ego to call me son? I do not know how old you are, but certainly not old enough.

      1. Remember two things:

        1. He who laughs last laughs best.
        2. Excessive laughing is a mental disorder. Read the quotation below:
        “Excessive laughing may be associated with psychological or mental problems. Excessive laughing are manic episodes in which some people have the tendency to over-react to any non-sentimental stimulus and even if the stimulus is sentimental, the intensity of the response is excessive. This is common especially in highly depressed people who might get euphoric at simple positive stimuli and find humor in everything.”

        I am no holy writer, I am just a student of the deen. Alhumdo Lillah, Allah has provided me with some knowledge that could benefit you and your fans.

      2. Haaaahahaha. I suggest you choke on that ‘knowledge.’ I’d happily go to hell if there are fuckwits like you in heaven. Promise. I’m done replying to your pointless rants. Keep showing up here; you’ll be ignored like usual.

      3. See where you have ended up now. You started criticizing somebody and now you have nothing to say when faced with criticism. You are even prepared to go to Hell, shows how little you know of it. Even Rasool Allah (sallallaho alaihe wasallam) used to make dua to be saved from azab-i-qabar and the fire of hell. But how would you know the perils of both, as you are apparently madar pidar azad and not caring about the Day of Judgment?

        I am surprised that Word Press was sleeping now when it let the ‘f’ word go through in your post. It makes you feel elated using that word, right?

        You keep ignoring it and that excuse for a human who makes all the wrong assumptions can too. As I said, if one person reads and gets influenced by what I write, I am glad as one soul has saved itself.

        Adios.

      4. Today, I am not responding to any post, but am inviting all those who read this blog a very important factor that can affect our lives.

        We are obliged in Islam to gain knowledge so that we know what Allah (subhanaho wa ta’ala) wants from us, so that we may pass the test and go to Heaven/Jannat. Anybody who says he/she does not believe in Allah, or that he/she does not mind going to Hell is totally ignorant. Do you want to hedge your bets, or do you want yourself totally exposed? Belief in Allah and Day of Judgment are two of the most basic beliefs one must have. We will all be accountable for what we have done in this life. Are you prepared to face Allah? I certainly am not and that scares me.

        I will end this short post with translation of the meaning of one ayat for those of you who have the craving to gain knowledge:

        22:54 (Y. Ali) And that those on whom knowledge has been bestowed may learn that the (Qur’an) is the Truth from thy Lord, and that they may believe therein, and their hearts may be made humbly (open) to it: for verily Allah is the Guide of those who believe, to the Straight Way.

      5. Akhtar. It is not of your concern what happens to Mehreen or anyone else. If you are a student of the deen great, but remember something, just as you have the right to “freedom OF religion”, myself and others also have the right to “freedom FROM religion”. As for Mehreen, I can see that she is a Muslim, just not your definition of a Muslim. You DO NOT define what all Muslims are.

        Now, if you think that by repeating yourself over and over again you’re going to miraculously convert anyone on this page to your way of thinking, think again. That approach only works with children, the naive, the insecure or the unhinged. You convince no-one, nor will you.

        Despite your sustained idiocy, Mehreen has been kind enough to allow your misplaced rants on her page. Quite frankly, none of us care if you believe her or not on the fact that wordpress moderates comments. For those who get high volumes of comments on their blogs, they often apply settings for wordpress to automatically moderate posts by checking them for profanity and so on.

        You’re a silly little Islamist who condones beating children among other things. What gives you the right to take the moral highground? Have you even read your holy book? 2:256 “There is NO COMPULSION IN RELIGION”.

        If you’re so adamant to have your voice heard, start your own blog. Trying to crap over someone else’s won’t get you very far my friend.

        Goodbye.

      6. Aren’t you jumping to a lot of conclusions, based on your perverted line of thinking? What have I said that makes you presume and say “just not your definition of a Muslim. You DO NOT define what all Muslims are.” can you tell us what my definition is?

        Then you are presuming that nobody will convert. What makes you assert that circa 500 people on this blog are all like you, and will not pay heed to what I have said. I have not repeated anything. You are repeatedly exposing your shallowness in a discussion.

        LOL. So Word Press found profanity in my posts. That is a joke that Mehreen should enjoy. Can you be kind enough to show where the profanity was? All my posts have been re-posted.

        Hahaha! You can stoop real low, can’t you? You have written “You’re a silly little Islamist who condones beating children among other things.” Now who is taking the right to generalize and condemn people for a very silly understanding of what Muslims are.

        Yes, I know the ayat as I have encountered many half literates in my life. If you ever chance by a Qur’an with an English translation, do open the ayat as you quoted on a fifth of the words, the full ayat is:

        2:256 (Y. Ali) Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things.

        I do not know whether you will be able to comprehend what the whole ayat says, but, I am sure there must be some who will see your folly.

        Furthermore, this ayat is referring to non-Muslims as Allah does not want them to be forcefully reverted. For apostates, there is different ruling in Sunnah.

        Next time, think before you write.

      7. hahaha gotta love your comments Mehreen! They’re mad hilarious and I love your sarcasm. And I really do appreciate the tolerance you show to ignorant people. I would never be able to stand all the bullshit they come up with.

  36. Yumna,

    Have you read the Qur’an and its meaning? Can you tell me where you see any bullshit in my posts.

    1. Hi Akhtar,

      I agree you have some very valid points when it comes to shari’ah & Islam. Yes they (points you narrated) are all right in their way, and May Allah bless you if anyone benefits from it. But, akhtar, this is NOT the right place to talk about the valuable information you have. It will be ignored, here. Because you are drifting off topic. Yes it is branching out, but contextually it is drifting off and somehow losing the importance it carries.

      This is not the right medium, my Islamic brother. This is a comment section. About the video/actions the author of this blog found wrong. I would recommend you start you own blog and post every bit of the valuable islamic knowledge you have gained/are gaining. So people don’t look at it as an off-topic response to anything.

      Islam is much more than defensive post in comments section, ofcourse.

      Disclaimer: This is just a suggestion and i do not think you are wrong with your views nor do i think Mehreen is wrong in expressing herself. It really is her blog.

      Peace, seriously.

      1. Assalamo Alaikum, Minya!

        Thank you very much for being the lone voice in support of what I have written. May Allah reward you for it. I do not agree that this is not the right place, and that it will be ignored. Wherever there are human beings, the Words of Allah are to be spoken. Rasool Allah (sallallaho alaihe wasallam) said something like ‘if you learn anything from me, even one word, you are obliged to spread it wherever you can’. Also, any gathering where Allah’s name is taken is blessed, and this is a gathering. Does anyone not want it blessed?

        I am a very positive thinker, and will never give up on people. I am sure there are some here who would read and do a self assessment to see how they can improve.

        As regards drifting off topic, see my initial posting, I was totally on the topic and had written that what Mehreen wrote was against Islamic teachings. She deleted my post. Then her response and of theopinionista attacked me, and the latter went to the extent of saying that he/she is a non-believer. My subsequent posts have been responses to them, where I am trying to show how wrong they are. I do not want anyone to be influenced by their thinking. Do you?

        Have you read Mehreen’s defiant statements when she challenged Maya? They are totally against Shariah and she has to retract them.

        In a discussion, which is what it is here. A blog does not have to get all positive comments. It can get some criticism, which is what I did, and that infuriated the likes of theopinionista. People like him/her need to be condemned as they are madar pidar azad. They do not even know who created them and why. Their ignorance makes them make very silly statements. Such statements must be deleted or challenged.

        I am not defending Islam, Allah and His religion do not need my support. I am challenging incorrect statements in comments made by Mehreen and theopinionista.

        I appreciate your suggestion, but disagree with your statement that Mehreen is not wrong to the extent of her defiant statements in her first post that I have mentioned earlier.

        A blog is an open forum that the public can read. It belongs to the person who created it, but when a public statement is made, the person should be prepared to face opposition. If she cannot, then she should not make such statements.

      2. Are you trained in fiqh Akhtar? Have you completed a PhD in it? If not, how are you qualified to comment on contraventions of Sharia when there is no single form of Sharia? I’m sure that you’re aware that Sharia consists of a man-made **moral code** (a basis for life, not mandatory legislation) that came about after the death of the Prophet and has cultural variances according to which country you go to. Also, because Islam does not have a central authority (such as Christianity which has the Pope), it is pretty much impossible to apply Sharia “law” in any Muslim country since there would be no consensus on “which” Sharia. “whose” Sharia? Hence, Sharia is just a guide for Muslims and not a mandatory framework of legislation. Which country’s Sharia is Mehreen’s blog contravening? And of which school of thought? Hanafi? Maliki? Shafi’i? Hanbali? Ja’afri? And please could you outline the specific moral code that her blog is contravening?

      3. theopinionista

        I do not understand why the Reply button does not appear on top of your post, and Mehreen’s.

        You are totally confused about shariah and Fiqh. I will reply very briefly as this is not the forum for Islamic education.

        Contrary to what you have written, Fiqh and shariah are not man-made. Their source is the Qur’an and the Sunnah. It has nothing to do with culture. They have been arrived at through a sincere effort by people who spent their life trying to make the deen easy for us. But how would you know?

        Fiqh amongst the majority, Sunnis, is of four kinds. Hanafi, Shafi’ee, Malikee and Humbali. The four Imams in whose names the four schools of thought, as they are sometimes called, were extremely well-read in the Qur’an and Sunnah, and arrived at their conclusions based on certain criteria. They are all correct, and did not disagree with each other. The differences between them are minor, and not on any of the clear commandments from Allah or His Rasool (sallallaho alaihe wasallam).

        Shariah is not being implemented because of the leaders and for political reasons, not because of any differences as you try to project. The sub-continent follows Imam Abu Hanifa. But the rulers there are secular, so they will never implement shariah.

        The clear ruling in the Qur’an (translation of the meaning) is
        3:103 (Y. Ali) And hold fast, all together, by the rope which Allah (stretches out for you), and be not divided among yourselves;……...
        Thus, Muslims must take their guidance from the Qur’an and not follow a Fiqh. As they were all correct, we should follow what seems to be more logical, or what is practiced in the community. For example there are small things in the prayer timings, the rafadhain, saying ameen when the Imam recites Surah Al-Fatiha.

        Mehreen’s defiant statement in the first part violated the teachings of the Qur’an and Sunnah. Read my first post to understand. She claimed publicly that she was performing small zina, and by publicly stating it, she was propagating it in this forum.

      1. Allah’s name and the spreading of His word is an obligation on all of us on all platforms and forums. He/she who stops this is in battle with Allah. I did consider starting my own blog, and that will happen, Insha Allah. Right now, I want to work on the sisters and brothers on this blog. May be someone might take heed, and think. He/she who seeks knowledge and sincerely diverts his/her thoughts to Allah stands to benefit.

      2. Brother, with all due respect yet again.
        We are taught by our religion to knock on a door three times. When no one answers, we are advised to leave without disturbing others.
        Another brother of Islam is doing exactly this without being a nuisance to anyone. I have found his site to be much much much more informational and knowledgeable here on wordpress.
        http://tinyurl.com/778pk54
        Kindly take heed from this brother, who is inviting others but without causing a scene. I think getting into a feud, and dragging Islam into the conversation will not make anyone a fan.
        This is a sincere appeal to someone who really wants others and myself included to learn about religion.

        You already have countless times tried to make reason, but there isn’t anyone willing to listen. Please do not disrespect religion. I plead you, brother.

        Peace.

      3. Let’s begin by making a distinction here. I don’t have to respect **any** religion to respect your right to follow a religion. Just as you don’t have to respect mine or Mehreen’s views in order to respect our right to **hold** those views.

        So far, all I am seeing is Islamist proselytising from you and your buddy Akhtar. Keep trying and you’ll keep getting the same answer. The majority of us agree with Mehreen’s stance because we believe that human rights are for everyone (holy cow! maybe **that’s** why they’re called **human** rights!).

        Also, I’m afraid you are no brother or sister of mine so please can we drop the artificial pleasantries? You’d have me killed in a heartbeat thanks to my beliefs if I happened to be in Pakistan or elsewhere where leaving the religion is punishable by death. You fool no-one with the niceties.

        Akhtar and yourself can keep on proselytising your faith here or wherever you want, but Mehreen has every right to block or disapprove your comments if she so pleases.

        Please, find yourself a job instead of spending all your time trying to proselytise to people who just aren’t interested in your well-meaning but misplaced moral guidance. We are not automatons who find all of our worldly knowledge in only religious literature. Follow the advice in the Qur’an. On the first page, it says “Iqra”. Read. Not “Read the Qur’an”.

        The Qur’an encourages Dawaah but also states that there is no compulsion in religion. Hence, you and your friend have tried several times now to get Mehreen to recant her criticism of Maya based on YOUR interpretations of fiqh. She’s explained why she will not and your friend got abusive. So, unless you want to notch up more “sin” points with Allah, I suggest you both go and find a more malleable audience that is open to your ideas. You’re wasting your time here.

        Wasalaam.

    1. This is not a house, and it is not private property. Mehreen or anybody can do anything they want in private property, but once they make a statement that anybody can read, nobody needs to knock on the door to tell her and the other readers where she is wrong. I don’t care what she does with her life, but the defiant statement was totally wrong from Islamic perspective, and I wrote what I had to.

      You may think I am being a nuisance, but show me one statement I have made that supports that. Mehreen and that character theopinionista have thrown insults, used derogatory words at me and have even cussed me. Have I stooped to their level?

      There are different ways of performing our obligations towards Islam. Some open their own blogs, while some use other’s blogs. There is no difference between my posting something there or here to clarify something. I do not need to start my own blog.

      I do not want any fans. I just want to state what I know, from my limited knowledge, where something incorrect has been stated. I have worked on a few Islamic sites anonymously to answer questions, and discuss with people with deviant and no beliefs. I pray Allah keeps me on the Right Path, and gives me the strength to oppose deviation. Ameen.

    1. Just one comment for Akhtar before he is done with his tirade (if ever) and disappears from this blog. Seeing that he hasn’t posted since early Feb, it might be too late anyway. So – I always have this idle thought pop up whenever somebody mentions Islam does not allow sexes to mix because it leads to zinna – well, keeping them apart might (and does – I have lived in a hostel and seen a lot of ‘experimentation’ out of sheer frustation) encourage homosexuality which is again abhorred by all religions – so its a case of damned if you do damned if you dont :) Why doesnt everybody relax and get a life and not get so fixated on what consenting adults might do in private. You’ll be surprised a lot of us just like to talk and exchange ideas when alone.

      1. I stopped because I did not receive any notifications of comments by email. It was no tirade. I just tried to tell the audience what little I know of Islam and its dictates. Anyone who is a Muslim is obliged to follow them. He/she who denies is in kufr.

        Sad aldharai is a clear part of Fiqh. Lack of knowledge exempts no one, as gaining knowledge is also an obligation.

        The example you give of the hostel means nothing. If anyone cannot control his/her nafs, he she will commit sin. Keeping the genders segregated helps, but those who are prey to the devil will be misled, no matter what. Those who are muttaqee will not succumb to their desires, even if they are in circumstances that could lead to sin. The example of Yousuf (alaihe salam) and Zulaikha guides those who wish to be guided.

        Exchanging ideas has no issues as long as it is within the boundaries of decency. Read the hadith collections and see how Ayesha (radhi Allaho anha) has explained the personal life in fair amount of detail.

      2. But that brings us fair and square to the fact that men and women should be educated against obvious pitfalls not segregated. What good is the battle against nafs if you never test its mettle :)
        You are actually a little endearing in your zeal to save people. People like you maybe have their heart in the right place but just don’t convince people like me. And right on cue – you can say what all religious people say “there is a seal on your heart and mind and you are doomed to not understand” :) it’s fine though. We are all entitled to our own opinions.

      3. True. Knowledge is the best defense against evil. There are some jewels in what Allah and His Messenger (sallallaho alaihe wasallam) have given to us as guidance. Rejecting them, and trying to re-invent the wheel will only mislead one.

        I am simply following the dictates of the ayat whose meanings of the translation are:
        3:110 Ye are the best of peoples, evolved for mankind, enjoining what is right, forbidding what is wrong, and believing in Allah………..
        and
        66:6 (Y. Ali) O ye who believe! save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones, ………

        I believe the word وَأَهْلِيكُمْ in the latter ayat has been incorrectly translated as family. It has much wider meaning and covers every person we come in contact with.

        :-) You should never generalize, nor should you make presumptions. I have said to people who defy and deny in debates
        109:6 (Y. Ali) To you be your Way, and to me mine.
        but I do not believe you come in that category.

        May Allah guide us all to the Truth. Ameen.

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